Our annual madness

           Here we are again, on the verge of our annual madness. Okay, so it’s a few days away, but in my world that qualifies as a verge — and there’s still time to end it.

           I’m talking about Daylight Savings Time, or setting the clocks ahead. And what do we do in the fall? Set them back. Does that make any sense at all? Sure, someone might say, “Well it would take awhile to implement and coordinate and blah-blah-blah.” Really? What’s so hard about not doing something?

           So maybe we need to get a hue and cry going. No one I know likes setting the clocks an hour ahead each March. The groans can be heard around the world. It’s an awful long wait to get that hour back.

           I don’t understand why the movement to end this clock-changing silliness doesn’t get any traction. Everybody hates it. I wrote my congressman last year — Patrick something-or-other — and suggested he introduce a bill to get DST repealed. It’s a win-win, I told him. Need a compromise? Then how about setting the clock ahead a half hour and LEAVING IT THERE FOREVER. I could live with that. He’d be a hero, I assured him. We might even remember his name. Did I hear back? Nooo. Was such legislation introduced? Nooo. There are even petitions out there, and I’ve signed them all — to no avail.

           So maybe we need to take matters into our own hands. Maybe everyone should keep their clocks and watches where they are right now and continue operating on Standard Time. Let’s call it a protest. Let’s persuade Microsoft to quit updating our computers for the time change. Let’s tune into our favorite TV shows at the time we’re used to, and complain when there’s something else on. Let’s get a trend going in social media — tweet #EndDST, write Facebook posts and tell everyone to share them, things like that. Let’s show up an hour late for work and dare them to fire us. If we stick together, we can’t lose.

           Okay, I’m delirious, but understand this — my delirium is a medical condition caused by the anticipation of the onset of DST, which results in a lot of unhealthy anxiety and aggravation, and not a few stupid ideas. It makes me nuts. I hate it, hate it, hate it, and I’m not alone. It’s bad for the heart and bad for the digestive system. It also causes hives in some people. Me, I get Post Daylight Savings Time Syndrome — PDSTS, as it is known in psychiatric circles. It is NOT a good idea to disrupt my circadian rhythm. I might explode and ruin a perfectly good chunk of the known universe. For Pete’s sake, let’s end this madness. Retweet if you agree (wait — this isn’t Twitter).