col um nist
n. An advocate or supporter of columnism
When I
started out in the journalism business, I thought it would be fun to be a
columnist someday, but I knew there were concerns that needed to be resolved
before I made any kind of a commitment. What, for instance, would my friends
say? Would they whisper “He’s a card-carrying columnist” behind my back? Would
they deny knowing me? Would the FBI interrogate them about my activities? Would
they have to appear before a Senate committee? Would they worry about finding
their names in a file labeled “Friends of Rufa”?
The heck
with it, I decided. The temptation was too great, so back in the mid-1980s when
a local paper down in Southern Pines, NC, offered me a chance to write a column
twice a week, I took a shot at it, and it turned into a gig that lasted more
than six years. It went to my head. Imagine — me a columnist, with fellow
travelers like Ellen Goodman, Russell Baker, Dave Barry, Kathleen Parker, Molly
Ivins, and Art Buchwald. Who knew — I might even have lunch with them some day.
Who could
pass up the advantages and privileges of being a columnist? Columnists can
write about anything we want, and if you hit the big time it doesn’t even have
to make sense. Another plus is that columnists can write long paragraphs, while
reporters have to keep theirs down to a sentence or two and get the five Ws up
front, in order of importance. Columnists generally don’t have to worry about
their wardrobe either. A columnist can work even work in skivvies, since they
can work at home.
Many
well-known columnists started out as reporters, although I had to rule out that
path a long time ago. I just didn’t think I could stand the strain of having to
have my facts straight most of the time. Columnists have a lot more flexibility.
And humorists? Why, humorists can really take liberties with facts. One of the
best ways to avoid a lawsuit as a writer is to be funny, because even people
who can’t take a joke usually don’t want the world to know it.
The column
is a particularly good genre for the lazy writer. Novels take a lot of work (I
can vouch for that), and short stories are quite difficult to write.
Non-fiction generally involves a lot of research, which is a lot like work.
One of the nicest things
about writing a column is that you don’t have to write a whole lot. In fact,
short-and-sweet is the rule rather than the exception, although some columnists
do get windy. In my case, I try to keep a column under 500 words. However, sometimes
I can’t help running over that a bit — especially if it’s important. I have a
fair amount of leeway in this respect, and I really appreciate being able to
write as much as necessary, confident the editor won’t delete the
